"If you could chose only one: would you rather be a leader or a role model?"
That was one of the most interesting interview questions I've heard, posed several years ago by a local YMCA camp director of a potential junior counselor. How would you respond? Unhesitatingly, my middle daughter Liz responded, "Given the choice, I'd much rather be a role model. After all, leaders just have to get people to follow them - a role model has to know where to go and show them the right way to get there."
It seems to me that I've met many more leaders than I have role models.
There's one role model in particular I'd like to talk about today. Laura Snyder joined us at Cognetics as a senior usability designer and rose to take on the role of Manager of our Princeton design team. Like all new managers who move from being one of the gang to "the boss," she had her challenges. It's hard to take over a team of folks who are all talented in their own right, creative and smart. It can be hard to assert yourself among former peers, some of whom are your age and others significantly older.
Laura took a path that played to her strengths. She managed with dignity, charm, good humor - and negotiation. She worked hard, but she also had a life: small roles in Community Theater; singing; yoga; the dog; friends; family. I'm sure her amazing husband Mike topped the list.
About four years ago, Laura returned from vacation and told us of her unexpected trip to the emergency room after a fall. Shortly thereafter, she was diagnosed with adrenal cancer. Like us, you probably never even heard of adrenal cancer. That's not surprising. Each year, there are only about 500 cases in the United States. Someone told me the odds of surviving longer than a year are about 3%. (Have you seen the movie 'Sicko'?)
Laura took a path that played to strengths I bet she didn't know she had and never thought she'd have to draw on for decades to come. She beat the odds through sheer determination and an iron will to endure. I can't remember how many clinical trials and rounds of chemo. Through it all she never lost an ounce of dignity, charm, good humor -- and apparently negotiation skill. The day before yesterday, Laura Snyder, age 34, passed on.
They say you die as you live.
Just a few weeks ago I visited Laura in the hospital. She couldn't eat. She could barely drink. But she was sitting up in a chair, laughing and smiling. Completely bald and skeletal, she grabbed a friend's magazine out of her hand, feeling great sympathy for actresses caught by paparazzi without their make-up on! She talked about looking for another clinical trial, not giving in to the disappointment of rejection. She was eager to read the stack of novels on the bed and listen to the 78 hours of "books on tape" my husband brought her. She told us about the trips she had just taken to Michigan and Pittsburgh. Mostly I'll remember her laughing and smiling, how her face lit up when Mike arrived. Laura Snyder was not just a role model for living every day to the fullest; she was an inspiration to all of us who knew her.
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